7 Benefits of a Self-Love Practice

Self-love is one of the most important things we can ever learn to give ourselves and those we love, care for and serve. It is essential for our wellbeing and allows us to flourish both mentally and emotionally.

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:

• 7 Benefits of Self-Love
• The True Definition of Self-Love
• 5 Tips for Practicing Self-Love in your Own Life
• 5 Mindful Writing Prompts to inspire you to take action on what you learn in the episode

 If you're ready to start taking gentler care of yourself, read on!

Lately, I've been hearing a lot from the women in my community regarding self-renewal and rest.  What's so interesting is that these women don't feel worthy of rest or self-renewal.

Can you relate to this?

 If so, you aren't alone. So many of us have created an identity culture around who we serve and how much we give.  This identity is so deeply ingrained by society that it seems almost impossible for us to separate "what we DO" from "who we ARE."

I remember hosting a self-renewal workshop a few years ago, and I asked the women who were in attendance this question:

"When do you love yourself the most?"

80% of the women said they loved themselves the most when they were serving their families and helping others and that they felt worthy of love during those times of "giving."

Many of the women there hadn't experienced a "self-care" practice for years. Others felt that they WANTED to do more for themselves, but they just didn't feel deserving enough or "right" about it.

Unfortunately, this is still the common narrative among so many women in our communities today.

The problem is not in the "serving" or the "giving."

The problem is that these women felt exhausted, depleted, excessively stressed and quietly frustrated because they didn't have time for themselves and space to "breathe" and do something they enjoyed.

The problem is that the EFFECTS of their frustration and stress showed up in their work and negatively impacted their relationships with those they loved, cared for and served!

So, what's the remedy to this?

I believe the remedy is reconnection with ourselves as individuals. We need to take a collective step back to PAUSE and NOTICE our own needs and give ourselves permission to care for those needs FIRST.

I believe we as women need to make room to love ourselves as deeply as we love others. We need to pour into ourselves and allow others to pour into us. We need to nourish our own minds and bodies and hearts first so that we can have a greater capacity to nourish others.

The concept of self-love is taboo for many of us.  We’ve been conditioned that loving ourselves is “bad,” while loving others is “good.” Self-love is neither bad OR good.

Self-love is a foundational aspect of self-renewal and it's a necessity if we're going to authentically show up and do our work in the world.

WHAT IS SELF-LOVE AND WHY DOES IT MATTER?

The positive psychology definition of self-love is "an attitude toward the self that includes caring about oneself, appreciating oneself, taking responsibility for oneself, and respecting oneself." In other words, self-love is all about how we feel and think about ourselves. It encompasses everything from how much we care for our own physical, emotional and mental health to how much we respect and believe in ourselves.

Self-love helps you to develop a positive relationship with yourself, which fosters self-trust, self-compassion and acceptance. When we love and accept ourselves, we are more likely to take care of ourselves in every capacity of our lives and businesses. As we cultivate self-love, we are also more likely to maintain healthier relationships with others, as well as a general sense of happiness and satisfaction with life. When you love and accept yourself for who you are, it becomes easier to love and accept others in the same way.

Self-love can help you to deal with difficult situations and emotions in a more constructive way. For example, instead of beating yourself up over a mistake, you'll be more open to learning from it and forgiving yourself. This will help you to move forward, focus on the present and authentically show-up in your life and in your work or business.

When we DON'T love ourselves, we are more likely to foster negative thoughts and feelings towards ourselves. This can lead to destructive behaviors, such as self-harm or substance abuse. You may also experience debilitating limiting beliefs or negative emotions and feelings such as anxiety, excessive stress and depression. You may also find it difficult to form and maintain close relationships and may overall be less happy with our lives.

 7 BENEFITS OF SELF-LOVE

• Self-love fosters healthy acceptance of life as it is which results in less suffering.
• Self-love improves physical, emotional and mental resilience.
• Self-love allows us to form and maintain healthier relationships in our lives and businesses.
• Self-love makes us happier with our lives.
• Self-love reduces anxiety and depression by acting as a buffer between us and self-judgment.
• Self-love leads to greater self-belief which increases motivation & productivity

If you're ready to start practicing self-love?

5 WAYS YOU CAN PRACTICE SELF-LOVE:

• Be patient with yourself: Learning to love and accept yourself is a process, so don't expect to change overnight. Be gentle with yourself and celebrate your progress along the way.
• Forgive yourself: We all make mistakes – it's part of being human. Instead of beating yourself up over them, learn from your mistakes and forgive yourself. This will help you to move on and focus on the present.
• Be kind to yourself: Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend. Would you tell your friend that they are worthless or unlovable? Of course not! So why say those things to yourself?
• Practice self-care: Taking care of yourself is an important part of self-love. Make sure to schedule in some "me time" for activities that make you feel good, such as exercise, getting enough sleep, and eating healthy.
• Open your journal: Journaling is one of the most supportive ways to cultivate self-love.  By consistently putting your thoughts and feelings on the page, you’ll begin to collect evidence and daily reminders of your worth and why you matter and you’ll develop deeper compassion and self-trust which leads to self-love.

PAUSE & REFLECT

So, how will YOU incorporate more self-love in YOUR life?  Here are 5 Journal Prompts that will get you started. Writing out these 5 journal prompts can help get you started on a journey of self-discovery and self-love . By taking the time to explore your thoughts and feelings about self-love, you will begin to develop a deeper understanding of what it means for you and how you can incorporate it into your life.

5 SELF-LOVE JOURNALING PROMPTS:

• How would you show up differently in your relationships, life, business, and work if you showed yourself more self-love?

• Write about what thoughts and feelings you have when you think of the words, “self-love?”

• Where do you think these thoughts and feelings come from?

• When was the last time you felt like you truly loved yourself? Describe that time in your life in detail.

• What do you currently do for yourself that makes you feel loved and cared for? How can you do more of this in your life?

Self-love is a journey that is definitely worth taking. It can be difficult to love yourself at first, but it’s so important for your wellbeing. By making small changes in your life and practicing moments of self-love daily, you will start to see a difference in how you feel about yourself – and in turn, how you feel about your life. So why not start today?

LET’S CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION: 

How has self-love helped you in YOUR life? What showed up for you in this journaling practice?  Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!

INVITATION:

If you want to go deeper, I’ve created a 31-Day Self-Love Journaling Practice for you.  It’s a printable PDF workbook that will move you forward to the next step of your self-love journey.

I hope this served you in some small way.  Until next time, take good care.

-Nicole Annette